Poppy turns 4

So let’s talk about Poppy….

Let me start by telling you that Poppy was the child I didn’t think I would have.

When I first met my husband he already had 2 children and as things got serious he made it clear that more children were not in the picture for him.

It was a decision I came to that loving his children was enough for me and that I would be able to live with not having my own…..but a year later he had changed his mind and wanted to grow our family….I guess I’m just that amazing πŸ˜‚ ❀️❀️❀️

It’s easy for me to say now because of our situation, that although I love my stepchildren with my whole heart I always longed for my own baby, a child I didn’t have to share.

I feel so unbelievably lucky to have met someone in life that opened their heart to new possibilities, not only allowing me to love his children but to love me enough to want to have a little peace of us both. My sister will be cringing at how soppy that was πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Then came this little one, the child I always wished for.

Because I didn’t think a child was an option it made having Poppy so special but also so overwhelming. She was my biggest wish in life and I felt it in every ounce of me so when she arrived i couldn’t quite grasp that this little being was mine.

If you keep up with my blog you will know I have and still do suffer with post natal anxiety, and a huge part of that has always stemmed back to me being so protective of this little girl who I longed for and now have.

But despite my anxiety life is so unbelievable!!!!

She has grown into everything I ever hoped for in a daughter….

I was saying to my mum the other day that I had this image of my daughter, how she would be like me as a child, independent but so loving. I remember leaving my mum notes to tell her I loved her and thinking that I hope it makes her smile. And now I have that with Poppy.

So tomorrow she turns 4 and I’m doing that thing we parents do when it’s the looming of a big day….I’m getting emotional. It’s hard not to when you remember carrying them inside your body πŸ˜‚

I am so thankful for her, all she does for this family and all she does for me. She brings me back from my pit of anxiety when she cuddles me, she reminds me things don’t need to be hard when she giggles with her little sister, she makes me feel that life is simple when all she needs from me is a kiss goodnight.

Thank you for having a read at the emotional rants of a mother πŸ˜‚

Normal blogging will resume shortly

Nikki

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