Hey guys, welcome back.

I couple of months ago i wrote a blog post about my struggles with Post Natal anxiety and i got a really positive response to it, since then i still receive messages from people who have come across my page and read the blog, most letting me know they have the same type of anxiety, some looking for advice and some just letting me know they are working on themselves.

I wanted to blog about my anxiety more regularly as it gives me such a sense of relief to know i am not alone and it may help others with their battle too.

My anxiety is really wide spread and can be triggered by different things, sometimes it can be something that never caused me anxiety before but it does now….those times are the hardest to explain to friends and family as i barely even manage to understand it myself….For example, if you keep up with my Instagram stories you will have seen last weekend my anxiety took a spike as my routine had changed. Basically i have to attend staff training at work once a month, the training lasts 2 hours in the evening and is required as part of my contract, i always do this training on either the last Saturday or Sunday of the month but due to a change in plan for mothers day weekend it meant i had to do it early. Now this may seem like a simple change but in my mind i hadn’t prepared for it, i like at least a weeks notice, which is ridiculous but hey that is the life i live now. I attended training and as always it was fine and when it came to this weekend i was so thankful i had done it early…..i knew  i would feel this way but at the time its so hard to focus on the positive.

This is just one example of how easy it is for my anxiety to take hold, it really is as simple as a change in routine….4 years ago it would never have bothered me, which also frustrates me because i just want to feel like the old me!                                                             I love my Friends and Family and i have a few people who understand how i feel as have suffered themselves but it really is such a hard thing to explain to people….why do you feel anxious about that? You will be fine! Don’t worry about it!……if only it was that simple because i do worry about it, whatever “IT” is, i worry so much that it makes me feel sick sometimes.

Now as i have said before, my anxiety is in no way as bad as it was 2 years ago and i have learned to be honest with people when i feel it. But i think it is so important to share that as much as i am better i am still an anxiety sufferer and its not as simple as just being “better” one day, i believe i am always going to have anxiety but its all about finding ways to cope with it and always being honest with the people i love about how i feel.

The best advice i could give to anyone suffering with anxiety is to be selfish sometimes. Don’t say yes to something that you know will increase your anxiety, don’t sit in silence because you are worried about how it may make others feel to speak out. We can’t always make people understand how we feel but that doesn’t mean our feelings are not valid.

Thank you for having a read, i am in no way the best at writing these blogs and they are probably full of mistakes but i appreciate you taking the time to read it.

Nikki x



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